marriage

How to Love a Woman

Published On June 17, 2013 | By nowigetyou | Relationships

So, this is a topic that I’ve been pondering on for a very long time… It’s a question which leaves room for many answers. It opens up biased opinions, it can cause misinterpretation, because it’s answers may not cater to every individual, and responses depend on individual beliefs, morals, lifestyle and personal preferences. So when I was asked to research this topic, I was quite stuck because I didn’t exactly know what to expect. There are many cliché’s in society right now about the different roles in relationships, but I’m here to get to the bottom of what is required to ‘Love a Woman’. Gentlemen, some of you might be struggling on this at the moment, because of all this independent woman talk, ‘girls girls girls’ songs and the encouragement of females in higher corporate positions, it seems like ladies are doing it for themselves these days. Let’s not forget that man was created for woman and vice versa, regardless of how well females do in society, there will always be a certain itch, a craving for a man, in his entirety. Even though we were made for each other, it’s becoming very sad that many women are opting out of monogamous relationships, there are a million reasons under the sun for this, but I reckon if we can get to the core elements of loving a woman, many woman won’t feel discouraged to enter committed relationships and many men won’t feel threatened to approach woman. I asked a mixed group of ladies, gents, single’s and those in relationships, what they considered were the core elements in ‘Loving a Woman’. The response from the guys differed dramatically, but here are the most frequent responses, in no particular order…

  1. 1.     Listen

The guys I spoke to, agreed that “listening” was very important, because it showed that the lady’s interest were at heart. To be honest, I was actually quite surprised that men understood that listening to a lady was a very important element in any relationship. We’ve all heard the joke about when a man is watching football, there’s nothing a woman can say or do, her man will barely listen to what she’s saying. This just goes to show that when a guy is serious about someone a few rules get broken.

  1. 2.     Do what you can to make her smile/happy

The guys insisted that “loving a woman” meant that you had to keep her happy at all cost. This didn’t implicate the purchase of material things (even though it is required in some situations), but they also explained that it meant ‘just being there’. Women, a majority of the time, in order to be happy, require some sort of stability from their partner; seeing that their partners make efforts to keep them happy on all levels confirms the love between them, reassures them and therefore stabilises them.

  1. 3.     Be Truthful

The guys highlighted being truthful. They stated that the best way to gain trust with their partners and keep harmony is by being truthful. They also stated that being truthful went hand in hand with listening because if a lady can open up and tell you their deepest thoughts and feelings, as a man who claims he loves and respects this lady, the least he can do is be truthful with her, and this meant even if he was unhappy in the situation. Rather than being promiscuous behind her back, he would be truthful and tell her how he felt.

Ok, so the guys had a lot to say about this subject, and to be honest I was taken back by their level of understanding when it came to women, most answers they gave played into the idea of women being emotional beings. Their responses deterred away from their ‘left brain logic’ and introduced the idea of generating positive emotional responses from woman. I was amazed at how a slight few considered throwing in materialistic ideas to show they ‘love’ their women; where an inexperienced man would say ‘buy her something’, an experienced man would say ‘listen’. This may sound like some revelation for some guys, but in all honesty, we ladies have been saying this for centuries.

Here is what the ladies had to say…

  1. 1.     Be Honest

The ladies went straight in with this first response. It seems that many have been hurt or affected in a negative way as a result of a dishonest partner. Once someone who you trust and are loyal to, lies and deceives you, you become emotionally scarred and find it extremely hard to get back to the way you used to be, your heart hardens and you become resilient in new relationships. Ladies feel that honesty and trust should be the basis of any relationship, and if they are kept through the duration of the affair, it becomes evident that love was present.

  1. 2.     Listening/Communication

We have a repeat performer here. Like the men, the ladies agree that listening is vital in relationships; one lady said ‘communication is key’! This is not only highlighted my words, but the ladies encouraged men to be able to listen to their bodies just as well. They stated that if a man could read his lady, without her even uttering a word, and be able to predict what she is feeling or thinking, it shows that his love for her is brewing; he has taken time to understand how she operates, he has generated an understanding of her thought processes and it lets the woman see that he loves/cares for her enough to really get to ‘know her’.

Also, communication went side by side with listening. The woman felt that if their men loved them, they would find no problem in communicating there were-about’s, their problems, their likes and dislikes; they believed it added to the element of trust and honesty.

  1. 3.     Respect

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. – Find out what it means to me… We all know the song, but regardless of how dated it is, respect is seen as a major contributor in loving relationships. The ladies stated that these days, men are slowly losing respect for women and they feel that a lady’s position in a relationship is slowly changing because men do not respect them. One lady stated that she believed respect as actually the underlying element in any relationship, because before love, comes respect and everything else develops from that respect. She believed that her man showed her that he respected her from the get go as to why she gave him the chance to get to know her, thus developing their union into a loving relationship.

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